Rippit Rippit

Ok, usually I love frogging. The pop pop pop of stitches coming undone, the zzzzzzziiiiiiippppppp of the yarn, the almost hypnotic pattern as the yarn moves from side to side.

But frogging something of beauty hurts. I learned this. A friend, we'll call her "Tracker", hand-dyed some fluffy (yes, fluffy) Icelandic wool into beautiful shades of pink and green and blue. She did it with fades, and it came out so well. And when she knitted it (plain garter stitch in ridiculously perfect stitched), it patterned itself, the colors in a sort of repeating serpentine pattern. And.........she decided to make something in stockingette that will be more useful than skinny scarf. And thus started the frogging, and I had to watch this lovely item zigzig its way back into a ball of yarn. Sigh. She decided to so a different stitch pattern on the redo, and while the stitches themselves were lovely, I still liked the first one better.

Note to self: If you are frogging something lovely, just don't watch...

Design Elements

So I've been pecking away at this scarf for about a month. Lamb's Pride Worsted in a varigated brown colorway. It's a pattern I made up. Please forgive me as this is the first time I am writing out a pattern. Cast on 22 stitches. Row 1-4 k2p2. Row 5 k22. Row6 p22. Row 7 k22. Row 8 p22.* Repeat rows 1-8 until it is as long as you want it.

This is not a rocket science pattern. This is not intarsia, fair isle, or lace. It has no color changes. It doesn't require DPNs or stitch markers. There is no cableing. It completely lacks increases and decreases. It is a beginner's pattern. Right?

So you can understand my frustration when the right side becomes the wrong side and vice versa. Ok, in one part I know what happened. I did purl rows when I should have done knit rows. Fine. But then even when I got it right (and I swear I got it right) the right side still became the wrong side. Then the right side for a few repeats. Then the wrong side again.

I have ripped back and tried again. I have had other people rip back and try again. And it's still wonky.

I'm calling it a design element, because I really don't want to rip back two feet of scarf I have worked very hard for.

But really, either I'm stupid and cannot be trusted with a beginner's pattern, or the yarn just hates me. I know it hates starbucks, because that's where it acts up the worst. But last night, it started rebelling at B&N. What's a sort-of knitter to do?!

Felting

Let's talk for a moment about one of my other fiber hobbies, felting, specifically wet or flat felting.

Wet felting involves laying layers and layers on animal fibers on each other, then soaking them and squashing, pressing, rolling, and beating them until they form a piece of fabric. Theoretically, thick felted fabric is waterproof and insultating. Theoretically.

So here are a few tips if you decide to enter the wonderful world of beating-the-heck-out-of-a-pile-of-wool-until-it-gives-up:

1. When making warm, soapy water, remember that a shampoo is sudsy. A little goes a long way. Too much means you are scooping piles of soap suds off your workspace while more spill out of the pitiful pile of wool you are abusing. Too little and the wool just laughs at you and refuses to get felty.

2. When covered in aforementioned suds, your partner will laugh at you from the safety of the sofa.

3. The person you are teaching to make felt will have no such soap issues whatsoever.

4. Felty when wet can mean poufy-like-a-pillow when dry. Unless you are the person in #3, for whom felt takes the WYSIWYG path.

5. In some cases, no amount of beating/stomping/rolling/mashing the fiber will cause it to get all nice and solid. Unless you are once again the person in #3, who manages to produce good quality felt with a few twitches and presses and rolls.

6. Abstract felted designs are not appreciated by partner-on-couch, despite the fact that they truly believe a white piece of canvas painted white is art.

7. There is no cure for UGHly.